The funeral service is an important way of marking the passing of someone's life
Whether at a church building, a crematorium or a funeral director's chapel, a Christian funeral service holds at its heart a message of love, hope and promise. The centuries old words of the liturgy give a depth of meaning and certainty in what can be a very bewildering and disorientating time for those who are grieving.
Let's talk about funerals
A Christian funeral
Christian funerals are about giving the whole person to God and so your Minister will work with you to weave into the service words and music that are personal to you and the deceased. Family contributions in either reading a passage of Scripture or chosen poems, music and tributes are always welcome.
Ministers work closely with you and the funeral directors to ensure that you feel supported through the occasion.
For more information on Anglican funerals please visit Church of England Funerals or use the contact form on this page to get in touch.
What sort of funeral
Every funeral and every death is different: you might be hurting with the tragedy of an unexpected death, or perhaps you are grateful for a long and fruitful life. Some deaths will be especially traumatic, distressing or unexpected. The Church has special funerals for children, or after sudden or violent deaths, including suicide. We would be glad to talk with you about what is possible.
Everyone is entitled to have a funeral in their parish church regardless of whether they attended church or not. Funerals can be big occasions with a packed church or can be very small quiet ceremonies.
Ongoing support
Funerals can also raise profound personal questions about the meaning of life and death, this is perfectly normal. There may not be much time around the funeral to properly reflect on these matters, but you can come back to them later and a member of the clergy will be very happy to talk with you about how you are feeling and the questions and thoughts this has raised. Ottery St Marty Parish Church runs a bereavement course which you are invited to access usually a year after a death.
Opportunities to remember
At Ottery St Mary Parish Church there is a special service around All Souls Day (end of October), which provides an opportunity to remember your loved ones. There is also a special service at Christmas called “Blue Christmas” allowing a quiet time of reflection during what can be a very painful time of memory.
Ottery St Mary Parish Church is open everyday and there is a votive candle stand near our Book of Remembrance where you can remember, pray and light a candle in memory of your loved ones.
Losing a child
We recognise the unique pain that accompanies the death of a baby or child. Services marking a miscarriage, or a stillborn baby can be arranged with a member of the clergy.
At the Lady Chapel there is a special Book of Remembrance for those who have lost babies or children and there is a tree in the churchyard with a bench round it set there as a special place of memory.
Interments
When someone is cremated their ashes can be buried (interred) in consecrated ground. Ashes are usually interred in small plots for either 1 or 2 people, but sometimes they can be interred into an existing grave plot. Ashes can be interred at Ottery St Mary Parish Church and Alfington churchyards.
Ashes can only be interred by a member of the clergy or a Licensed Lay Minister and there is a short service to accompany the interment.
We strongly encourage families to inter all the ashes of their loved one, so that the whole person can rest in peace. If ashes are split the officiating minster must be informed.
Plastic and silk flowers are not permitted in the churchyard. You can still put poppy wreaths and Christmas wreaths on graves, but we ask that poppies are removed by 1st December and Christmas wreaths by 1st February.
Book the funeral
Please complete the form below (it is slow to load). The Parish Administrator will then contact you to discuss and plan the service.